I never knew what to do

As I was growing up I found it difficult to read, concentrate and study. I tried but never knew what was wrong so I never knew what to do to correct it. Years of martial arts and trial and error allowed me to develop my abilities to read and reach out in a healthy way.

To listen I have to doodle or do something while I listen. If not my mind drifts. If you see me in a lecture, you will see me drawing football plays. By distracting part of my mind with plays, I can listen and take notes. I actually hear the lecture and retain most of what I hear.

To read slowly and carefully is to retain very little of what I read. My mind wanders and my thoughts overtake my reading. All I hear is the voice in my head shouting in a thousand directions. If I read at 2000 WPM I focus and retain 85% to 90% of what I read. Therefore, I have developed a method of speed reading which enables me to focus and learn.

This same creative kinetic learning is what I teach as I work in the martial arts with others who learn differently. I have a great deal of success with students who suffer with anger, distraction, frustration and chemical imbalance.

This type of creative learning allows me to teach life skills through martial arts. This is what I teach in Africa. We learn self respect, discipline, how to read and study, how to live in community and how to translate our skills into every day success. Through my work we also teach spiritual disciplines.

We have seen grades rise. We have seen gender violence and bullying reduced. We have seen students rise to take control of their lives and ad meaning to their daily walk.

I am leaving next week to resume the work I began in '06 and '07. My goal is to re-establish the program and ad fine arts, theater, music and dance to our outreach. I hope you will keep me in your prayers as I set out for Nairobi on Tuesday. for more information you can visit www.marsforpeace.org or e-mail me at mikeklumpp@yahoo.com.

"And" and "End" and In the End

In first grade we had a test. Spell "and" and "end".

The desks were all arranged facing different directions for the big test. The teacher gave us a pice of paper and the instructions "Put your name at the top. Then spell out the two words. Don't look on anyone else's paper. Keep you eyes on your own work and sit still at the desk when you finish."

I was very excited. I had studied hard for this test and just knew I would get a 100. The teacher gave us the sign to begin and justlikethat! I had my words written out confident that they were right. The rest of the class was still working. I fidgeted full of excitement. I was trying to sit still but busting at the seems. I looked around to see if anyone else was through.

Out of nowhere, Mrs. Gore descended on me, scolding. "Mr. Klumpp. I told you about cheating. No looking on other papers. YOU get a zero!" She scrawled a big red zero across my paper. "Have this signed by your parents."

"But Mrs. Gore, I wasn't looking on anyone's paper. I was through." She had no part of my explanation. It wasn't fare. When I tried to tell my parents the truth, they only remarked how disappointed they were with me for cheating. Nothing I said mattered.

In fact, the lesson for a five year old in military school was - the truth doesn't matter. There is only law and discipline, not justice. Those in authority don't care about the truth, justice or the rights of individuals. Of course, for the five year old it is less articulated and more intuitively learned. But 80 to 90 percent of personality is formed between 2 and 6 years of age.

"With my contempt for authority, it's no wonder I have become one." Albert Einstein

Bandana Pudding

Do you know what it's like to walk into your office and at once feel the need to start the coffee pot, but i need to microwave the last cup from
yesterdaywhilei dumpthegroundstomakethenewcup thefrontdoorneedstobeunlockedincasesomeonedrivesup thetrash icoulddumpit myhandsaredirty - do you? And with your mind spinning you stand and do nothing. Frustration and tension begin as you try desperately to sort out the simple task of walking into a building. You literally have to stop and methodically do one thing at a time forcing focus so that the ball of twine in your brain can begin to unravel. I do.

I don't know whether it is ADD ADHD ADXTC but I know I have it and I know it can be crippling. I just don't think like the rest. I don't know who "the rest" are. I don't know who set the standards. I just know that from the time I can remember, I didn't think like others.

A simple routine like walking into the building in the morning, putting down my bag, turning on the lights, warming a cup of coffee, making a fresh pot of coffee, unlocking the front door, and turning on my computer, could become a jumble of items of equal importance and a race to make the most proficient use of my energy by accomplishing them in the perfect order. Yet they are equally important and could all be done first so my mind tries to move on them all at once and my body is frozen in tension. And this happens four days a week when I enter the building - and it has happened for over a year in this one place. Just imagine the tension when I walk into a video store and try to decide from all of the equally interesting titles that could all be taken home - which one - frozen, panicked - just get me out of here!

Imagine sitting in the classroom, next to the window and the teacher is giving instructions. I am five and I am in military school and I don't know whether to look out the window, look at the class, look at the teacher, write something down, open a book or climb under the desk.The next thing I know I am in trouble for not paying attention. To what? I was paying attention to everything? What does she mean? I must be defective? I don't understand.

We read a story or summarize a poem. I don't see the same message that the rest of the class sees. Why? Is it because I saw something that wasn't there. Like the day I stood under a sign at a Bar-B-Que restaurant and wondered "What in the world is bandanna pudding?" It took a good five minutes of staring and scratching my head before my mind realized there was no "d" and one less "n" - Ahhhh! Banana Pudding! I am also dyslexic. Or is it because my mind is crowded with impressions and images the original author never intended? Or is it because I alone actually understood? Whatever the truth, I ended every discussion in frustration and self doubt. Which only helps to complete the cycle of misunderstanding that brings on my manic depression. That's right. I am bipolar.

Welcome to the world of those who think differently. In this blog, I would like to offer a place for venting, communication and insight for anyone whose mental signature or interests encompass a pattern that is less than "the norm". If you are ADD, ADHD, bipolar, schizophrenic, dyslexic, or otherwise divergent or if you just want to know what it is to live with such a mind, I invite you to join in as I journal the journey of a traveler who is sometimes an alien on his home planet.

Thanks - MK